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Infinite Aperture Blog

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Wounds-plain as day, camouflage our hidden wounds

01/08/12 7:41 pm

Wounds affect us- we know this. But reactions to our wounds by others also affect us. And to no one's surprise,  the wounds that can be seen, studied, observed are never beyond question. We have been hurt and we have evidence. Look at the blood. The fracture, the broken bone. 

Acknowledgement of my pain  by others makes it easier (sometimes) to persevere. They understand-a spoken word, or look reassures of this. We are more confident in their acceptance. We are buoyed we are not alone in our pain, our temporary bout with physical challenge can more quickly be addressed when we have others' empathy.

On the other hand our hidden wounds that lurk inside us can rarely be detected by others. We look exactly the same, we are not noticeably different, yet our behaviors,  quickly  affected by our mood can undergo dramatic changes that are not understandable or decipherable to others.

'Snap out of it' , 'Get over it' or  equally impossible commands might be thrown at us when we confuse people by not providing the 'tangible' evidence at any given point in time.  Yet we know that forces that are difficult to control do not obey the wishes of loved ones, co-workers. or neighbors.

But now, besides navigating our own emotional landscapes, we must concern ourselves with the judgement or scorn of others. We do not live our lives for others, but we cannot completely ignore how others respond to us No wonder, we sometime feel particularly vulnerable when we are challenged with life's curve-balls and boomerangs. 

Or course our emotional hurts must be addressed or face  the peril of getting worse. And often in our society they are faced  completely alone without understanding or support from others.

Reflections on holiday messages

12/26/11 10:02 am

Life's up & down events continue unabated despite the holidays.

When we receive the million and one holiday messages through mass communications, that resounds with  family and togetherness,  sometimes we believe that the dominant story-close families at the hearth sharing gifts and relishing time with one another is everyone's story. It isn't of course, but we might believe that we are the interloper, the odd one out because this story is not our story. And we might feel separate and apart, strange, oddly removed,  and that we don't belong because our experience does not mirror what almost all holiday messages convey. 

This is a time to recognize that our singular experience-regardless of circumstance, is part of the mosaic of life and holds within the experience, special gifts (though they may not be material in nature). But in order to so we must maintain our experiences are valid-despite their differentiation from  holiday telecasts. 

And we must feel a sense of connection-because we are social animals and isolation often stunts and retards our mental and emotional outlook.

As we so often come to recognize in these dark, cold days of winter,  supportive communities and friends are particularly vital and necessary, though we may be a loss of how to build and develop these networks.

Celebrating in ways that have meaning for us-whatever our circumstances, and creating family with the people we cherish and value in our lives can make all the difference in the world to our emotional and psychological landscape.

Celebrate and acknowledge your journey-it is a lesson for us all!

When it rains..

09/15/10 10:47 pm

It does pour....sometimes.... Today it rained. But not the entire day -there was spotty sun here and there. I had a lunch meeting with a wise man who has lived long enough to know about all the vicissitudes of life.  But mostly overcast. And so the weather in ways mirrors life. Unpredictable but something will happen. We just don't know what! 

Can we be prepared? Like put on a psychological raincoat or therapeutic sunscreen to protect us from  nature's elements? Sometimes if we know the forecast. But only if we know the forecast. So...

Maybe this is about picking up clues here and there to discern our personal weather report and inoculating ourselves using successful coping mechanisms that have worked in the past.It is certainly not easy sometimes though and input from others who can maybe discern things from a distance (as opposed to being right in the thicket) could be useful.

In the meantime...
OREGON CITY, Ore. - It was an unusual call for Oregon firefighters: A 1,500-pound camel, named Moses, needed to be rescued. The call came in Tuesday night in Clackamas County after the Oregon City owners of the camel called firefighters to say that Moses had fallen into a sinkhole 6 to 8 feet deep and was possibly injured. The owners — who have several camels and run a children's ministry — had tried to get the camel out themselves but failed.
And for those of you who need to know about stuff-check out this website!

Fall is definitively here

09/14/10 8:11 pm

This summer was so hot. Many thought the heat would stay and not go away. Well they were all wrong. It's September and the heat has dissipated. Now my feet are cold again even though I  am wearing socks which truth be told, i have not done all summer. My sandals are sitting in the hallway unused now, which is quite amazing- for only a few weeks ago, they were the my only footwear. I hate for my feet to be too hot or too cold...and perhaps that's the focus of tonight's blog: the middle ground. 

 The middle ground- is sought after often because it is a place between extremes. We are not working too much or too little. eating too much or too little, or tied to an addiction that is pushing us over the edge. We are in a position of homeostasis- ( The ability or tendency of an organism or cell to maintain internal equilibrium by adjusting its physiological processes-

Homeostasis  is something to work towards but is something we would be wise to think consciously about- since the very act of living, often makes it a moving target and not something that will not vary from day to day, week to week, or even (perish the thought!) minute to minute-

But the good news...the really good news of the day is Sarah Shourd has been freed and has left Iran. This is really great news- I have been following this case for some time.. And for whoever came up with $500,000 to spring her... well you are eternally blessed! 
Here is their website if you want to find out more...
May you sleep well in Oman Tonight Sarah!

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